In The Pause of Winter

My favorite time to be in the city is early on a Sunday morning. The city wakes up slowly, allows itself time to stretch and yawn and shrug off the night’s sticky film. The streets have a hushed and hallowed quality—calmed for a few precious hours between last calls and hasty departures and the nascent heartbeat of a new day. Businesses open later, morning rituals unfolding with a little more care. The grocer leans on his broom and takes a break from sweeping the sidewalk for a moment to gaze at the blush of sky. Even the restaurants and bistros that will be overrun by mid-morning with the brunch scene seem reluctant to throw open their doors. The whole city is on pause, collectively holding its breath before lurching forward into the day.

I love walking around town during this time. It’s like moving through possibility, if possibility were a street or alley way or curving bike path that you could feel beneath your feet. I take out my earbuds to hear what the city whispers; I find myself stepping softly as if picking my way across the fairy tale room of a sleeping giant to see how unobtrusive I can be. This past weekend it snowed in Boston. It snowed a reasonable amount, a respectable amount. Not this egregious 12 or 15 inches that deposited itself over some other areas of the country or was our particular recurring nightmare last winter. It was enough to carpet streets and drape statues and brownstone stoops in a lovely shroud.

In the morning the storm had cleared out, leaving behind a blue sky so rich in its hue it could have spilled from an artist’s inkwell. The city was left even quieter than usual. Everything was a bit unfamiliar, smoothed out from the whiteness of things and arrested the way a parent puts their hand on a child’s shoulder to gently stifle.

Processed with VSCOcam with b1 preset
Photo by S.Moeschen

 

This is the season of winding down and pulling closer to ourselves and others. We wait. We incubate. We get restless in the long months on hold. The city gives us a master class in isolation, of pretending not to see what’s right in front of our eyes, of turning away from the “out there” to throw ourselves into the purr of its engine—construction, turn-over, traffic, expansion. It’s a distraction and a lie. It’s smoke and mirrors the city casts that swaps the hustle on the surface for all that is happening that we cannot see or directly feel. This is Faith in action.

I complain to friends about the bracing cold and dormant landscape and the songbirds that have abandoned us and the nights that come on way too quickly as if this were all a prison sentence. In reality it’s a gift that we can tap into the murmur of winter and hear the call to join in with the hard, beautiful work of becoming that is taking place under the snow, under the ice, in the veins of the naked trees.

The city tangos with itself, yearning to speed forward like the rest of us while also longing to surrender to the slow and quiet like more of us should. When the season settles itself over the city, a curtain falling over a stage, it’s an invitation to see these cold, lonely, stillbirth months as brilliantly alive.

 

Advertisements

17 thoughts on “In The Pause of Winter

  1. Loved reading this post, particularly since I very much enjoy photographing trees in Winter. Your referring to the ‘veins of the trees’ is an apt way to put it, as the life within the tree pulses under the chilly exterior.

    Thank you for sharing this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to read. I really appreciate it. Yeah, I always try and remind myself of what’s going on underneath during these months…things are not what they seem 🙂 Thanks!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I took pleasure in reading this Sheila. Your writing has evolved yet again into something completely different that what I’m used to. This line particularly resonated with me, “It’s like moving through possibility, if possibility were a street or alley way or curving bike path that you could feel beneath your feet.” That’s how I feel about those early mornings when you set off to work or wherever and no one is really up. It’s as if you have the whole world to yourself, like you’re seeing the world before everyone else gets up: it’s full of possibility for the day to come. Completely unspoilt and new.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Em! Thanks so much…that means a lot coming from you for sure and you say it so beautifully yourself: I love being in a space that feels still but also wildly alive..the blank page kind of thing…what can happen? Anything. Everything. 🙂 XO!

      Like

    1. Ha! Thanks so much! It’s been a slow courtship..me and winter…last year in Boston we got buried, buried, buried, and I really wanted to break up, like 4-eva as the kiddos say…but I am trying to look deeper at what the season has to offer…thanks for reading! appreciate it! 🙂

      Like

    1. Oh thank you so much! I’m glad it made you feel warm and welcome. I agree with you–I see a lot of beauty and color and vividness during this season and some of the most brilliant and breath taking sunsets! Thanks!

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s